October 2, 2014

The best and worst cities for women looking to marry

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Young adults who would like to get married naturally start looking for love in the community they live in, but in some parts of the country, the odds may be against them. A new Pew Research Center analysis finds pronounced differences in the ratio between men and women living in the largest U.S. metro areas, especially when it comes to singles who have an attractive characteristic: a job.

Top 10 Large Metro Areas With Highest Ratios of Employed Single Young Men to Single Young WomenOur poll published last week found that half (53%) of never-married Americans would like to eventually tie the knot. And among never-married women interested in marriage, 78% said that it is “very important” to them that a potential spouse has a steady job (only 46% of never-married men said the same). Looking at the most recently available census data, we explored the demographics of the “marriage market” based on what women said they want in a spouse.

Nationwide, single young men outnumber their female counterparts. The overall male-to-female ratio is 115:100 among single adults ages 25 to 34. But when we limit the young men to those who are currently employed, the ratio falls to 84 employed single men for every 100 single women. (We count both young adults who have never been married and those who have been previously married as single or unmarried.)

So, which large metro areas have the best “marriage market”? For women seeking a male partner with a job, our analysis found that San Jose, Calif., tops the list among large metro areas, with 114 single employed men for every 100 single women. Among all single young adults, there were 141 men for every 100 women in this area. Over half (57%) of young adults ages 25 to 34 in the metro area, which includes Sunnyvale and Santa Clara, were single in 2012.

(Our Mapping the Marriage Market interactive displays the results of all available U.S. metro areas, as well as the reverse ratios of employed women to men and all men to all women.)

Also high on the list is the Denver area. The male-to-female ratio is 121:100, and the ratio of employed men to all women is 101:100. Some 56% of young adults in this area were unmarried in 2012.

10 Large Metro Areas With Lowest Ratios of Employed Single Young Men to Single Young WomenBut even in these top metro areas, young women may find it difficult to find a young single man with a job. The Orlando, Fla., metro area has a sex ratio of 128 single young men to 100 single young women, but the ratio of employed young single men to all young women is only 90:100. The ratios are similar in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles.

A smaller pool of employed men may not be good news for young women who are looking for a man with a job, but it could be good news for young single men. At the opposite end of the demographic split, we calculated a list of the largest metro areas that have the lowest number of employed young men for every 100 young women.

Memphis, Tenn., tops this list: only 59 employed young single men for every 100 young single women. Some other metro areas in the bottom ten include Jacksonville, Fla.; Detroit, Mich.; Charlotte, N.C.; and Philadelphia, Pa.

Note: The metro ranking is based on 43 metro areas with more than 100,000 unmarried young adults ages 25 to 34. You can find a more complete list of metropolitan areas on our map.

Topics: Demographics, Lifestyle, Marriage and Divorce, Population Trends

  1. Photo of Wendy Wang

    is a senior researcher focusing on social and demographic trends at Pew Research Center.

102 Comments

  1. Anonymous1 month ago

    The reason for far more single men than women is not related to them living out in the country.
    It’s becouse men are sick of gold diggers trying to take them for everything their worth.
    Thus no marriage .
    I’ve been in love twice in my 51 years and married to both .
    And the first time I was taken to the cleaners after 10 years of hard work.
    And 1 year of dealing with her cheating on me.
    She completely destroyed our marriage and our family of 5 all for the sake of a new man and what she could end up with.
    The second marriage lasted 8 years.
    Until I started a successful buisness from the ground up and she decided to try to take everything I owned including the buisness.
    But she was unsuccessful .
    This is why men are not wanting to get married these days.
    Because they are learning the tactics and the rules that women these days play by.
    Please don’t get me wrong, I am not a woman hater.
    My Grandmother always used to tell me, “Just because there is one rotten apple in the barrel that doesn’t mean that the whole barrel is bad.”
    Well Grandma lived in a totally different time.
    Where people worked hard together to stay together.
    And family values were not tossed aside like the disposable era that we currently live in.
    And I totally understand that sometimes there is good reason for divorce.
    Such as breaking someone’s trust by cheating on them.
    Or abuse in any form.
    But like I said way to many people are living in this disposable world were you throw away everything, including relationships.
    Because it’s easier to toss it away and start over, than it is to work hard to save it.

  2. Anonymous2 months ago

    How sad, after three weeks on an online dating site, I am convinced Eastern Europe is the place to find a girl. Don’t waste your time in the USA, America is a dying culture, if it can even be characterized as a culture.

  3. Anonymous3 months ago

    How is it possible that such an overwhelming majority of cities have far more single men than women in a monogamous society? Are all the women living in the country? Gender ratio at birth favors women.

    1. Anonymous2 months ago

      Gender ratio at birth is 1.05 men for 1.0 women. Dunno what you mean by favors women.

  4. Elijah Wyatt4 months ago

    It’s ‘funny’ that among the cities listed worst for finding a marriage partner, you list many places in the South.

    I wonder what the South has more than other places, that might cause a sharp skew of unemployed single young males? (thus making the employed single male less find able?

    It couldn’t have anything to do with… race? No. Never.

    Really, you should list divide it up by race, the south has tons of black people who are more likely to be unemployed than whites, and it makes it seem like a lot of places in the south aren’t good places to look for marriage, when it’s in fact the inverse. The south has a lot of conservative values that make the men much more willing to settle down and take a traditional route, and if you discounted blacks the employment figures aren’t as bad as they seem.

    1. Anonymous2 months ago

      In moved from Chicago from the south and I have lived in the south for nearly 20 years. I am female, African-American, and have been single these last 20byears with absolutely no prospects of finding a partner.

      The south is a horrible place for single black women and I can’t wait to leave here.

  5. max jones8 months ago

    This really might be the most embarrassingly sexist “research” post I’ve ever seen from Pew. The assumptions underpinning all of this are insulting to everyone EXCEPT single women looking for a male bank account to fund their own family-related ambitions. I’m sad to see this was even published.

  6. Cc9 months ago

    Denver may have a lot of young unmarried men, but that doesn’t mean they are marriage minded. Young people in Denver tend to live in extended adolescence. Men in their 20s and 30s hang out with groups of other guys just like college fraternities. It’s a city of hookup culture. It’s a fun place, but if someone is trying to find a husband, don’t go to Denver. Guys there won’t even commit to relationship or “date” you. (Well, I’ve been “talking” to that girl, bro, that’s all… We NEVER dated) look someplace with more conservative values.

  7. Though Flaske9 months ago

    It would be nice if these studies were broken down by age and race, because there are huge age and racial disparities in many towns.

    More on what KDBee said about Atlanta. The metro has an undersupply of young white professional women, young asian professional women, middle aged men in general, and a huge undersupply of black men of all stripes.

    The young white and asian men aren’t exactly pairing off with the black women and the middle-aged women. Because the black men are so in demand, they are very confident and and are able to use that to pair off with white and asian women of all stripes in larger numbers than I’ve seen in any other city, making the problem even more difficult the non-black men, and effectively make settling down impossible for black women.

    But the overall ratio for the metro is fairly “even” if you look at the hard numbers.

  8. Mads11 months ago

    Two things. First, the way this is written makes women sound shallow, but really of course women prefer employed men. They’re not saying they wouldn’t consider an unemployed man, if perhaps he’s between jobs, going to school, in the process of starting a business, writing and searching for a publisher while doing random paying side jobs, etc. I’m sure men also prefer women who are in some way self-sufficient and motivated. This category should include perhaps the recently employed and active job searchers, at the very least.

    But the biggest problem is, you’ve already said that only 53% of singles are looking to get married, so it doesn’t matter which cities have the most singles! I’m sure there are many extremely career-oriented singles in San Fran and DC that really don’t have marriage as a current priority. Which cities have the most singles that actually say they WANT to get married?

  9. Ridiculous11 months ago

    Reads like a pimp service – talking about the number of women available to the men that can pay. And with women filing the vast majority of divorces (65-80% depending) and the women walking away with the kids and the man turned into an indentured slave… what a joke. It’s done. They have ruined it. Let it die and have the decency not to shine like on it’s ugly underbelly.

  10. Gruber1 year ago

    Only takes one partner to divorce, and women initiate 90% of divorces. And that’s because it’s so favorable to them financially, of course they’d do it.

    Add to that the fact that women aren’t chaste before marriage and no real man wants some used up slut that can’t even properly pair bond, and there are slim pickings for men.

    Nowadays pretty much only Indians get married, but I don’t know whether their women are chaste either. Basically the US is a dying empire, and deserves it.

    1. Black Dahlia9 months ago

      Fortunately there are chaste women. We areally at church and caring for family and friends.

    2. Lisa7 months ago

      What about chaste men?Where are they?See men here in America dont care if a woman is a virgin. I think men should reflect the example of the kind of mate they want. Women don’t want a broke ,used up man, with child an d alimony support dragging behind him, for the new woman to deal with.

      1. Robert Johnson1 month ago

        >What about chaste men? Where are they?

        High schools and basements everywhere. The reason that’s not a satisfying answer for you is that a man’s chastity is not valued by women in a state of nature, nor in our mainstream culture. Quite the opposite, really.

        >See men here in America dont care if a woman is a virgin.

        For sex? Or for marriage? I disagree in each case. However, virgins in America are hardly an option for men to marry any longer, presuming they wish not to run afoul of rising age of consent laws.

        >I think men should reflect the example of the kind of mate they want.

        I agree, but in this environment if it hasn’t happened for him by age, oh, 12…it’s probably not going to work out that way.

        >Women don’t want a broke ,used up man, with child an d alimony support dragging behind him

        Note that what may make him unattractive is a lack of resources, not something innate.
        NB: Donald Trump.

  11. Dianne Lynch1 year ago

    The premise of this article stereotypes women as being more interested in marriage than men are. The “marriage market” and whether women are outnumbered by men? Really?!?! From Pew? So disappointing.

  12. Singlebychoice1 year ago

    The trends is not to put a father on a birth certificate so ALL the children get free social assistance. Free medicaid for children and the mother. Father skips out on paying for health insurance. The mothers are in on the scam. I see it everyday in the emergency room. This is why men are being targeted. Wake up guys. Get a vasectomy!!! When will government and Social Services wake up. When will Pew research bring this data to the forefront. Try finding a man or woman that don’t have multiple children by multiple different donors. How about data of people being responsible for them selfs?

  13. TheGoodAnswer1 year ago

    Most of the women nowadays are Nothing like the good old fashioned women were, and today they like dating all different kinds of men instead of Committing to just one.

    1. Raymond Kot2 months ago

      The word tramp comes to mind.

  14. KDBee1 year ago

    NOT bringing out the race card, honestly..with that said, ATLANTA is THE worst city for AA women to find a husband/monogamous relationship!

  15. Tron1 year ago

    WOMEN MAY SAY THAT MARRIAGE IS “VERY IMPORTANT” TO THEM BUT THEY ARE ALSO INITIATING DIVORCES MORE THAN MEN. MEN ARE BETTER OFF BEING SINGLE. TO WOMEN, MARRIAGE IS NOT ABOUT COMMITTMENT ANYMORE. IT’S ABOUT FINDING A SUITABLE SPERM DONOR. WHO CARES IF IT DOESN’T LAST. WOMEN STILL GET THE KID AND TAX FREE MONEY (CHILD SUPPORT) FROM DAD EVERY MONTH THAT THERE NOT ACCOUNTABLE FOR. ALSO, AS AN ADDED BONUS, WOMEN CAN MAKE MORE THAN THEIR HUSBAND NOW (BECAUSE OF EQUALITY) AND STILL BE AWARDED PRIMARY CUSTODY (BECAUSE OF SEXISM IN THE COURTS). THEN THE HUSBAND, WHO MAKES LESS, PAYS MOM WHO ALREADY MAKES MORE!! GEE, I WONDER WHY MEN DO NOT WANT TO MARRY? I WILL TELL YOU WHY. THEY’RE SMART.

    1. Jesus1 year ago

      It’s true. Many women aim too high, have inflated value of themselves. Yes, unmarried, don’t want to be tortured.

    2. Raymond Kot2 months ago

      Even as a Catholic, the four F’s are starting to make sense.

  16. Atomic1 year ago

    Not surprised to see the Detroit area near the top. We got totally fked by NAFTA, which was implemented while many of us were still in Jr. high school. The older generations deserve a painful euthanasia.

  17. kelvin urena1 year ago

    MGTOW!!!!

  18. Terry1 year ago

    I would like to clarify a misconception, nay, a downright lie, that keeps getting repeated and perpetuated with regard to the availability of males for women in Silicon Valley, California.

    When addressing this topic, which is a crucial one for women, it must be addressed in terms of racial demographics. Whether “politically correct” or not, whether people like it or not, the fact and the truth remain the fact and the truth, and must be addressed head on. Sticking one’s head in the sand to avoid “controversy” is ridiculous and only leads to more lies and untruths.

    So, let’s get to it. The truth about Silicon Valley is that if you are a CAUCASIAN WOMAN, there are LESS males available than if you live in other parts of the country. Yes, yes, I know that what you have read and heard is exactly to the contrary, but that is because the people providing those “statistics” are looking only at gender, not at race.

    Once race is taken into account, the bottom line is that due to the immigration invasion that we have experienced in the past two decades, which has come primarily from Asian countries and India, if you, as most Caucasian women do [and apparently the Asian women as well, who keep pursuing our Caucasian males with a hunter’s single-minded determination, thus leaving us with few to none of our own males (but the Indian women pair up with their own Indian males almost exclusively)], you will be quite lonely and alone, with no romantic life and no male companionship whatsoever, particularly if you are in the 45 and up age group.

    Add the fact that in today’s world, due to a very large and significant percentage of women spreading their legs for any guy at the bat of an eyelash, to the huge influx of these foreign women who go after our Caucasian males, to the influx of non-Caucasian males that most of us have no physical or sexual attraction to — and the picture is very clear: Caucasian females face a very dangerous lack of male partners. This is no joking matter, as in turn, it affects our emotional, mental and physical health. It affects us economically because instead of a two-income household, we have only our own income. It affects us in the arena of health insurance because we don’t have a spouse or partner’s employment coverage – and the list of dire results goes on and on.

    So, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is the REALITY of life in Silicon Valley. A very depressing picture, indeed.

    Having said that, I doubt that this post will be allowed to go through by the powers-that-be at Pew; however, at least I have written it, and in so doing, feel somewhat more empowered than I would were I to keep silent and not lend even a kernel of clarifying truth to the intentional obfuscation being perpetuated when it comes to the issue of available male partners for women in America, especially in Silicon Valley.

    1. Sylvia Khalan1 year ago

      Terry,

      I can see that. I live in St. Louis, MO and as you’ve seen on the news we have a RACIAL WARFARE going on here in the Mid-West.

      At the Medical schools you can see mostly Asian/Middle-Easterners (male mostly) and in the tech industry, we have a huge population of Caucasian males.

      So, African-American women (and the majority over the age of 30 have a Master’s degree) are finding it also a bit rough because the women of ALL ethnic groups are giving it up so freely.

      In Massachusetts, cheating on spouses is extremely bad especially cheating with the same sex (curiosity).

      Don’t forget we just had the movie “50 Shades of Grey” that came out and the BDSM community (which are upset with the movie) believe now folks who are married and those whom are dating or trying to date will push us all back 40 years. Dating will be changed because Men already want and expect a drink and a blowjob or some other sexual advance for a drink or at least passionate kissing….but now they want to have everything before hand with a contract…

      For those low-income to middle wage earning males, they have to put a kick into their already lame routine of boring luncheon/dinner or drink “interview” routine and the wealthy guy now wants to use the drab looking/geeky not as pretty virgin female for his egotistical pleasures.

      To be honest….truthfully honest…..
      Ethnic groups and Caucasian groups have it bad all over.

      Money is very important in seeking out a life partner.

      The most important over ALL of money is whether both people have similar interests and it’s not about “Gold digging” or “Trophy husbands/wives”.

      Hardly any similar interests + someone with money = DIVORCE.

      Too many boring and drab people today with NO sense of pride, creative ingenuity. It’s a car wreck. Go and look in today’s grade school (public and private) and see the messed up children. You’ll totally understand.

      1. Jeve1 year ago

        It’s simple, much simpler than you are making it out to be. A good elher and share values, so they hook up. Period. What gets in the way is when he or she rejects a perfectly well suitor because he/she is not the right race, class or doesn’t fit the look. In that case, one partner is rejected and moves on to other prospects.

        Their is a food chain of desireability, and for women it decreases with age and lbs, and for men it increases with money.

        We are human beings, not gods and goddesses. Survival of the fittest effects all mammals. The good news is, if you are alive rigjt now, you are fit, or you would not exist. So stop whining. Men don’t like whiny women fyi.

        I’m married, been proposed to 3 times in my life. Two sex partners total. Never had any problems getting a lad but I can usually see why for those who do.

    2. A9 months ago

      *Scratches head – so why not just branch out and date non-Caucasian men? I stayed in the Bay area some months, and I saw at least two white female doctors at the hospital with a Chinese and Indian surname respectively.

  19. questionwriter1 year ago

    You cannot use ratios alone. Seattle appears on many of the “top 10” lists, however, as anyone who lives here will tell you, this is one of the WORST places to find a spouse. It’s a great place if you want to stay single forever, because that’s all people here seem to want to do. But if you want a serious relationship, with the goal of marriage, you’re better off somewhere else.

    And for those men who are complaining about how hard it is to find women, is it *possible* that you are refusing to consider women who don’t fit your media-fueled ideals? There are plenty of women out there, some of whom may be overweight, or may possess only “average” looks in your estimation, or who may be older (even – gasp – as old as you are!), or who may be in wheelchairs. Women date older (wrinkled), overweight and average-looking (even bald!) men all the time. Really. Really. So, men-who-complain-of-no-women-to-date, have you asked out an overweight, or older, or plainer-than-moviestar, or wheelchair-using woman? Because, if not, you might seriously consider keeping your complaints to yourself.

    1. Sylvia Khalan1 year ago

      I applaud you for coming forth and mentioning the truth.

      Also, Women in the 40 year bracket are kinda perplexed about dating. We want a man in our age group, but if we haven’t had children by now and we still want to try to have at least one, we have to look at the younger men (who have more stamina and who have a better chance at not passing along genetic problems – down syndrome, etc.), the men in the 40 year bracket (on average) are not seeking to date a woman in her 40’s…they want 20’s and 30’s. While the man in his 50’s wants the woman in her 20’s and 30’s). Men in their 60’s and 70’s want women in their 30’s and 40’s.

      The majority of women in their 40’s are at their sexual peak while men in that range and above 40+ don’t have the stamina to keep up.

      I hear from many men in their late 40’s+ that the women they are with just aren’t interested anymore in sex….or the wife doesn’t like oral sex or won’t give oral sex.

      I can probably see why they aren’t interested…because they aren’t getting what they need out of those middle aged relationships.

      So, when dating….whew…it sure can be tough for a single woman in her 40’s+.

      We have to settle….or do we???

      What about the new divorcee who hasn’t work in years (because she was a house wife (with our without children) — now, she has to create a career and try to locate someone worthy to date who won’t try to trash her or use/abuse her while she is starting/creating a career in her newfound singleness!

      Happy 2015!

      1. Elton9 months ago

        Sylvia, maternal age, not paternal age, is what determines elevated risk for downs syndrome. Also, women’s sexual peek has always been reported to be in the mid 30s, not 40s — and even this is being challenged as a myth (meaning women peek earlier). For some reason, this peek age keeps getting pushed out. There is a reason why men in their 40s seek sex from affairs and prostitutes more so than men of younger ages.

    2. Mike1 year ago

      80% of men who claim to be single are not really single. It amazes me that nobody knows this. Men are overrated and society teaches the opposite. All you single women should date each other

  20. Joe1 year ago

    “I’ve lived in Richmond, VA my whole life and there is definitely not a good ratio for any of us ladies here.”

    Translation: There aren’t enough tall, good-looking men with money.

  21. Truth2 years ago

    Many women are very picky today, and want the best out of life.

    1. SinduHal1 year ago

      definitely!

  22. Kingsley2 years ago

    I will like to know the countries where women are very anxious to be married to men.

    1. Ro1 year ago

      See Russia, Belarus,Ukraine or in Asia.. China ,Vietnam …
      Sorry that I have to say but ladies from State they don’t know to appreciate a good man.

  23. Bridget2 years ago

    I’ve lived in Richmond, VA my whole life and there is definitely not a good ratio for any of us ladies here. moving has always been in the cards for me, but some of these statistics are a bummer! Big city, yes your chances are going to increase, but it’s so hard to even meet people when the pool is so big. ughhhh.. my research on this is definitely going to continue through grad school before I make a big move!

  24. Kelly2 years ago

    I think now that gay marriage is becoming legal that these statistics will be more accurate.
    It’s hard for either sex to find someone that they can love and live with for the rest of their lives. Moving to a bigger city can increase your odds but you have to go thru a lot of lemons before you can make lemonade and remember that sugar helps it taste better. What I mean is bring your best attitude to attract that in return.
    I’ve had some long term relationships but none were as wonderful as my best friend that I married. I am heterosexual but we all could learn from gay people, successful people and just generally happy people. All work and no play will make anyone miserable but we all need to do our share and that’s why men should work and women should get paid the same.

  25. frank heath2 years ago

    where is the place to find single women.

    1. susan1 year ago

      atlanta…80,000 single women. heard this today!!

  26. Orlando Resident2 years ago

    With all due respect, I believe your statistic of 128 single men to 100 single ladies in Orlando is inaccurate. Orlando has an enormous gay male community. Though the ratio could be correct, it’s certainly not 128 straight unmarried men; not even close!

  27. Kat2 years ago

    I’ve lived in the northeast my entire life, though I’ve traveled and am exucated. After my fiancé was caught having an affair, I jumped on an opputnity to relocate to central Fl. Culture shock. The men I work with are all gay and the woman are not receptive in developing friendships. I’ve tried the gyms, church, voulenteering, and classes that would be mixed men and women. Though I’m attractive and friendly, I can not meet any decent men. The bar scene is not for me. I’ve never met anyone of substance in a bar. I’m afraid to online date after friends have shared horror stories, though they’ve started out meeting in public for coffee, then dinner, you still don’t know who you are truly with. I’m friendly with my neighbors, though they’re not receptive to anything further than a nod. I’ve never had a problem making friends of either sex until now. I realize I made a big mistake and don’t belong here, though I must wait a year to relocate. I’m in my forties, but am told I look much younger. I’m in good shape and am attractive. I can carry a conversation with almost anyone and make people laugh. What can I do to avoid dying alone with a bunch of cats?

    It’s no secret there’s a difference in the definition of locality in the northeast
    compared to the southeast. I don’t mean to anger anyone, I hear it and have experienced it countless times. At least in Fl, the married men who slip off their ring have a telltale tan line on their finger.

    1. Kat2 years ago

      Please corrected the first sentence that should read “I’m educated” not executed. Maybe I’m not that educated!

      1. Brad2 years ago

        LOL! You definitely have a great sense of humor! Here I thought only men struggled with that issue. I’m 41 and struggle to meet single women and wonder why? My ex wife has no problem meeting men. I often wonder if there’s a shortage of single attractive women. People say I look younger and have a lot to offer a woman yet spend my nights alone at home. 🙁 Hope I don’t die with a bunch of animals either, lol

        1. maryam1 year ago

          With a bunch of animals? Lmaoo. So any adults have any advice for a 22 years old college senior hoping to relocate after graduating ? I live ib California

      2. wrldtrvlr1 year ago

        Meaning no disrespect, I noted that misspelling, and wondered if many of you on here think more highly of yourselves than most others do? I’m all for high self esteem, but I try to be ‘a realist’. Not everyone is going to be wealthy, or college educated, and success is defined differently by most people. Most wealthy men are looking for someone who also has some wealth. Now days beauty is simply not enough (look at how many beautiful women George Clooney lived with and who he ended up with). Yes it’s true that many men want someone half their age, but why would you want any of these men anyway? Just because a man is wealthy does not mean he’s going to share that wealth with you, which is why they simply shack up, not marry, or get a prenup prior to marriage. So if you are holding out for a wealthy, college educated man instead of a decent, hard working man who will work 2 jobs if necessary, to try and give you the world, then perhaps you may be overlooking many diamonds in the rough..and you may well end up 65 and alone. I’m getting married for the 3rd time in a few days, to a man who is not college educated but who treats me more like a queen than my previous financially secure, college educated, handsome, husbands. Of course I have the luxury of revising my requirements in that I am older, wiser, recognize my different needs now than when I was in my 30’s and 40’s, didn’t rule someone out simply on the basis of race, culture, religion, thus broadening my pool of candidates. I have been successful in my own right, am financially secure in my own right, so finding a wealthy man was not necessarily a priority. Finding someone who valued me, prioritized me, had my back, and wanted to make me happy was more important to me at this stage. So at each stage of your life, it’s helpful if one reassesses what is ‘realistic’, and what is more important at these new stages of life. Happy Hunting.

        1. Ed81 year ago

          Wrldtrvlr, great comment!

          I think if the rest of the people here read what you wrote and actually understand what you’re saying, they wouldn’t be having as many problems.

          And for the rest of the people, just remember when you point a finger to someone, there are three fingers pointing towards you. In other words if something is not working for you, probably it would be worth to examine a different way to make things.

    2. Helpful2 years ago

      Dear Kat,
      It sounds like you are feeling very isolated and fear that, despite your extensive efforts, your needs are unlikely to be met in your current geographic location. That must feel very sad. You also mentioned that you fear online correspondence. Try going out for a wilderness experience at a safe time and place and listen to your innermost voice about 1)what you most love to do, 2)what you most want from life, 3)whether you want to have a child before it is too late, and 4)what situations and activities have correllated most with your happiness.

      If you are sufficiently mobile and open to it, I suggest that you try activities sponsored by the closest outdoors organizations such as REI, Sierra Club, etc. If you feel especially sad at certain times of day, make arrangements to take a nap at that time, participate in an upbeat and active social activity like dancing, or be outside moving around at that time.

      Once you try those ideas, revisit your map and plan out your next geographic relocation . . . compare the costs of moving to the benefits of moving and also compare the costs of staying to the benefits of staying.

      Best of Luck to You!

    3. shirley martin1 year ago

      Kat, move west to Texas my friend ASAP, I lived there for 30 years and never had a problem finding friends–male or female–good paying jobs, (I made $20,000/month as a relocation specialist in Houston) or dates, came very close to getting married several times. People are open, friendly and happy there…..I’m going back there myself— Virginia sucks! Texas Hill Country…here I come! Shirley

  28. E2 years ago

    Could you possibly do the same map method for women/men in their 50s? That would be so helpful! Have been looking for this information!

  29. Rooster2 years ago

    1. Any conclusions less than at the national level based upon “American Community Survey” data is close to worthless because the sample sizes are too small and chaotic. (and don’t forget some “residents” don’t want to be surveyed and don’t show up in the numbers, think boarder towns)
    2. There may be some adjustments for LGBTs in these numbers, but those adjustments only account for a fraction of the Gay men in some large metro areas (e.g. NYC, SF, Boston). Gay men are grossly under counted in this data for some metro areas.
    3. There is no racial differentiation in the numbers. Unless you are one of the small percentage of people that has absolutely no racial preference in dating situations, the data is further worthless.
    There is a fairly easy, and fairly accurate, means to achieve useful ratio numbers that account for age, LGBTs and Race. No, I am not going to tell you what it is, but I will tell you it does not involve census data.

  30. Chuck Clarke2 years ago

    I was looking at a couple of the MSAs that have more women than men, and one sticks out.. Madera, CA.. The problem with using that MSA is that it includes 2 LARGE womens’ prisons, which just might skew your numbers a bit. Madera is a semi-rural MSA with just a few towns that are in the 5-digit population range, and each of the prisons there have thousands of inmates. (that area also happened to be where I worked for the Census this last time). Somehow I don’t think that MSA would be a good place to go looking for a (female) spouse…Was this something that was controlled for?

  31. isaac2 years ago

    hello your beautiful

  32. NT2 years ago

    Many men are just not interested in marriage – the system is so rigged against them and no/not enough benefits whatsoever. Marriage mostly benefits women. Look up “MGTOW” and also what meat grinder a man goes through in court for either or divorce/Child Support.

    1. DEB2 years ago

      Oh really? It takes 2 to tango and either work on a marriage or create a failure. Then again….how do you expect to have kids…unless you want to adopt them as a single dad. What you are writing is a bunch of BS. If this is the case, then there will be no men proposing…period.

      1. TheAmphicyon2 years ago

        Actually NT is right, just look on YouTube “6 reasons why men don’t want to get married” by Helen Smith Ph.D.

      2. Bruce1 year ago

        Why does this make you so angry?

        1. Alex1 year ago

          Because not everyone is that cynical and some people (women AND men) want a lifelong partner/friendship/relationship that they can form a family with inside of a healthy and lasting marriage. That still exists, you know. Nothing good comes easy, but good marriages and good people still exist.

          1. Cc9 months ago

            Thank you. I’m happily married. I did have one short, failed marriage when I was 23. I realized I was still young and should get to know myself a bit before trying again. I didn’t let it embitter me (even though the guy made out financially off of me, after literally sitting with his feet up on the table while yelling at me as I did 100% of house and yard work and also had a job). The second time around I was 39. I wasn’t concerned with a deadline or competition with peers or making my mother proud with the fancy wedding like the first time. Instead I was focused on finding a best friend to grow old with and hopefully to have a family with. I’d advise people to not marry too young. 23 is too young. People grow a lot in their 20s.

  33. Nikki Harper2 years ago

    This is horrible! !

  34. Fred Phien2 years ago

    Then again, not having a “job” means entrepreneur in many large cities, such as Philadelphia where I live. There is once again a strong disincentive to work as a result of recent changes to prior welfare reform legislation enacted in the Clinton years, i.e. most of the work requirements have been thrown out. Add in the Affordable Care Act, and you’d have to be either pretty stupid or pretty motivated to work to choose an entry-level job that pays less than the benefits you can receive on public assistance. That doesn’t mean you can’t moonlight, and many people do even though it is illegal. Selling drugs out of public housing is one popular form of moonlighting, as well as prostitution and operating speakeasies. Many contractors on public assistance moonlight via jobs that pay cash. So income may be quite high, although unreported, for many individuals who don’t have official “jobs”. Their ability to attract partners based solely on a “job” may be a gross underestimate of their attractiveness to the opposite sex. A better measure might be the number of offspring a male is able to produce in a given metropolitan area.

  35. So True2 years ago

    Most of the women out there nowadays are Not very nice to meet anymore for many of us men that are looking.

    1. DEB2 years ago

      That is BS too. There are many nice women out there. From my personal experience, the men I have met want the women to fulfill a laundry list of attributes but expect us to have no list, no standards or expectations. For one example…I have a strict diet and exercise regiment to maintain my weight. I have done so and have maintained my same size since High School. It takes discipline and self control. Men like the fact that I still have a great figure but they become fat, flabby, etc. What the heck do they expect? I believe in the motto “Become the person you want to attract” If I become fat and flabby, I should not complain that I have trouble attracting men. It would be my own damn fault for becoming fat and letting myself go. Your statements do not make any sense…..

    2. Kat2 years ago

      Re: So True.
      Be more specific. Not all woman are gold diggers looking for physical perfection. I make my own money and don’t have “a type”, other than honestly, loyalty, friendship, and partnership. I realize a lot of woman may appear “stuck up “and can be materialistic. They’re the one’s that will never be happy or fullfillled. They’ll always want bigger and better. That’s sign of insecurity and unhappiness. Happy people appreciate their blessings.
      When you see that person with a “sour screw face”, you never know what tragedy has just gone down in someone’s life if they don’t appear happy 100% of the time or don’t smile.

    3. Ashley1 year ago

      I beg to differ! I’m a really nice woman. Very laid back, friendly and chill yet I have the hardest time. Men think something must be wrong with me because I’m not a bitch. I guess I have the equivalent of the “nice guy syndrome” except I’m a chick. I dated 2 guys who were confused about me and another woman, both of them told me that I was probably the better choice but they each chose the women that they had more problems with. I find that many men like women who are bitchy or overly sensitive. When you’re a woman who is chill and friendly, men don’t know what to do with you. Everyone is living in this world where they think anything worth having should be hard, a battle and a fight. Then they wonder why they are miserable, burnt out and ready to divorce the person after a few hers. That’s because people are so wrong about that! Things that are too hard aren’t worth having! They’re a phucking headache and they’ll drive you insane and fill you with mountains of regret! The funny thing is that I’d love to meet a really sweet and nice guy! My girlfriends think nice guys are too nice but I’d take one in a millisecond! If I have to build a life with someone then I’d take the guy who is respectful and caring and thoughtful. This is why dating is so hard now. All the good people are tied up in crappy relationships with crappy people because society tells them that love is hard work. But true love is easy! Real love ain’t that hard. Maybe you’ll have a few bumps in the road but you shouldn’t be miserable! I truly loved two men in my life and our relationship was easy as pie. Smooth sailing because we just understood each other on so many levels. Unfortunately, I lost both of them due to distjCe but I hope to get one of them back one day. He too was someone who wasted is time on a woman who didn’t appreciAte him. She was mean and never satisfied. When I met him, he told me that he was just amazed at how happy and easy things were between the two of us. I really want him back so bad!!!

      1. Kaylin1 year ago

        Ashley, I totally agree with you. I think I’m in the “nice girls finish last” category. Guys think women should naturally be a bunch of drama, and are attracted to brats. Had a guy tell me “you’re not like other women”. Yes, well then why do “other women” who treat their men badly get rewarded for it?

        I’m hoping some guy/ some divorce perhaps, comes to his senses sooner rather than later.

      2. ethan1 year ago

        Well said True Love is EASY… That gave me hope 🙂

  36. DEB2 years ago

    Oh really? I have not experienced what this research is showing. I am a woman who currently lives in the Seattle-Tacoma-Bellevue, WA metro area and dating sucks here. Majority of men have no social skills and rather spend time in front of their TV’s or Computers playing video games rather than meeting girls. In addition, I have been told that my metro area is the second highest number of functioning autistic people (especially men) in the nation, second to San Francisco/San Jose/Sunnyvale/Santa Clara/Oakland/Hayward/ CA metro areas, being the first. Sooo…what good is it to live in those areas then? It is so bad here that I am moving to Washington-Arlington-Alexandria DC-VA-MD metro area. I hope I will have better luck.

    1. Highpointer2 years ago

      You write, “In addition, I have been told that my metro area is the second highest number of functioning autistic people (especially men) in the nation, second to San Francisco/San Jose/Sunnyvale/Santa Clara/Oakland/Hayward/ CA metro areas, being the first. ”

      The San Francisco Bay area, which includes Silicon Valley, is the leading high-technology employment area in the USA, and the Puget Sound area ranks second to Silicon Valley in terms of high-tech employment. High-tech jobs are filled disproportionately by men, and many people working in high technology, which includes scientiests, engineers, and information technology specialists, exhibit traits of functioning autistic people. While such people may lack sophisticated social skills, they are usually very intelligent and honest and are people of high character and integrity. Also, the jobs they work at pay high wages and salaries.

      1. DEB2 years ago

        You are kidding! You might be a person of high integrity and character. I am living with your type here in the Seattle Metro Area and many I have met here are not only socially unskilled, but just mean, arrogant and act entitled to receive “sexual favors” from women. They do the very least to try to get it. Throwing money around but at the same time, complain that they are only attracting women who are “gold diggers”. They are so antisocial, men here avoid confrontation at all cost and are cowards here. I have heard horrible breakup stories and I have my own that is simpy horrific. I have nothing but disgust with my experiences with men from this tech area. They might be intelligent but have no other substance. I am not the only one with these opinions. Ask the women here….THEY ALL AGREE WITH ME

        1. beta=omega2 years ago

          Your kidding me right, this statement shows how demanding and self centered USA women are. I know it hard but put yourself in a man’s shoe and you will release that 15 men are have no choice while you as a women even if in 100th place still has 16 men to choose from. Even better you work in place with plenty of well educated, well dressed professionals who make great husbands and support there families. still you complain,Deb have you ever considered these men have given up on USA women after years of dealing with women like yourselves…

          1. DEB2 years ago

            beta=omega,
            I am not kidding. Men here do absolutely minimum to get sexual favors from women. Men here do not even shower for dates let alone dress to romance women. I was expecting some sign of respect from them but instead, they rather want to have hands all over me during our first get-together or even on a first date. It feels like they are more interested in treating me like a cheap prostitute rather than a woman they want to get to know.

        2. Alpha2 years ago

          DEB, that is just the problem –“confrontation”. If you want confrontation, just the military and go war. Women are completely clueless about what men want. I can tell you that confrontation is at the bottom of the list. You do have a point about a man being able to romantically attract and treat a woman — you’re absolutely entitle to that and we love that chase as well. But at the end, any capable man must consider the sex:trouble ratio. No amount or quality of sex can invite or keep a real man in a relationship with low ratio. My advice — take stock of your relationship so far, act in your own interest, not from what every woman on TV wants and finally, better to get his heart than a purse — in doing so, he will give all to you! Good luck.

          1. Alpha2 years ago

            meant “join” the military

    2. HM2 years ago

      > The majority of men…[would] rather spend time in front of their TVs or computers playing video games rather than meeting girls.

      A lot of men in the 25 to 34 age range are worse off than men in the same range 20 or 30 years ago. They’re paying off larger student loan debts, dealing with longer periods of unemployment, and are more jaded by long-term relationships and marriage than ever thanks to a legal system that almost always favors women over men in divorce proceedings. Factor in the cost of children (or high maintenance shopping), the spouse’s student loan debt, and the high likelihood of meeting a single person on the wrong side of the Hot/Crazy scale, and it’s a wonder why any man would want to get married.

      Young men would have to be incredibly infatuated (or crazy) to think that spending time, money, and energy on “meeting girls” is more worthwhile or fiscally responsible than playing video games and watching TV.

      1. Steve2 years ago

        Not True.

      2. APC1 year ago

        Because they know that dating in the USA is a waste of time. Most women <40 choose to be alone not men.

    3. Priyanka1 year ago

      This is quite awful to call those guys autistic. I moved to Seattle recently, and I love it. I love the men here. They are intellectual, VERY GOOD LOOKING, calm, and humble. I went out on a few dates when I first moved, and settled down with a guy. I have a boyfriend now. I find this city very easy to meet men, but then again, I’m a girl from India, and I too probably fall into the autistic techie type that you are stereotyping. I also keep fit, but my expectations for men are not crazy. I’m a hundred pounds and am 5’5″, and I’m not expecting a guy who looks douchey with big muscles, and wear lots of cologne and hair gel. I found a great guy within two weeks of moving here and we’ve been dating for 8 months. I love this city.

  37. Michael2 years ago

    Is this a stratified or cluster sampling method?

  38. Chris S2 years ago

    It’s very misleading to use the term “single” interchangeably with “unmarried.” Part of the reason there are so many never-married Americans is because they are making that choice not to marry, not because they are truly single. Your own poll released last month showed that one quarter of unmarried people in this age bracket are in committed relationships. That’s a high enough percentage to make this interactive map meaningless.

    I am surprised, Wendy Wang, that as a serious researcher, you would write about data in such an inaccurate manner, just to be able to get a cute map that gets passed around a lot on Facebook.

    1. beta=omega2 years ago

      Nope now matter what kind of spin you place on the data there are far more single men then women and trust me men most want a relationship because meeting a stable, feminine, and attractive woman is becoming more and more difficult. Why think dating abroad and PUA courses are so popular, men want to meet women but there are not enough to go around.

  39. Louis ‘the lou-tenant’ O’Sullivan2 years ago

    I read in TIME magazine you found Clarksville to have the highest % of steadily employed single men. Thought it would be worth pointing out, before women begin the mass migration, that Clarksville has a huge military base (ive even seen it referred to as a military town/community), possibly explaining this finding- mature stable bachelors? Horny army grunts. Sorry.

    1. beta=omega2 years ago

      I am sure Deb will find something wrong with them too.

      1. DEB1 year ago

        I find nothing wrong with men except for men who feel entitled to everything and do no work to earn anything….

  40. Timothy Allen2 years ago

    Reading through this post, and the report, I was unclear about how employed men and employed women was calculated. Was it based on the national employment rate by gender, or per region? Also, is there a significant difference between “employed men per 100 employed women” or the reverse, and the population as a whole?

    1. Wendy Wang2 years ago

      In this post, we focused on the employment rate of unmarried men and women ages 25 to 34 by metro areas, and the calculation was based on 2012 American Community Survey. These rates are different from the rates among general population since they only apply to unmarried young adults in metro areas. Thank you for your question.

  41. denbaumgartner2 years ago

    Interesting percentages….I love statistics…one of my favorite classes in college!

  42. offended2 years ago

    This is unbelievably offense – is this an article from the 1950s?? How is the focus on women, as opposed to men, who are seeking marriage? Why could you not have phrased this in a gender-equal frame? Ie, “Worst cities for men and for women”? I am really shocked by Pew’s retro outlook on the world. Totally offensive to women.

    1. Wendy Wang2 years ago

      Thank you for your interest.The post focuses on the pool of employed men because of the distinct gender differences in our survey: 78% of never-married women who want to get married said that it is “very important” that a potential spouse has a steady job, while only 46% of men said the same. For single men, finding someone who shares their ideas about raising children is more important. Our interactive map looks at the marriage market for all young adults, including the number of employed women for every 100 men, and our report released last week includes much more data.

      1. Yvette2 years ago

        Where is the best geographic location for 50+ women to meet decent 50+ men?

        1. Mart2 years ago

          When you find out please let me know. 🙂

      2. beta=omega2 years ago

        More women are employed so I guess all that feminine talk of women being hold back is bull…

      3. APC1 year ago

        That’s Another Pointless Comment because far more men are killed to in wars by other men this still it does not debunk the negatives of feminism: When men loose out on jobs they are pretty much worthless in the dating market yet women as long as they maintain a decent appearance still have plenty of options. Even in highly patriarchal societies if a man works he often supports a family as well while in more feminine cultures career women only support themselves.
        The employment resource “job” is used more efficiently in Patriarchal Societies.
        I agree some aspects of dating are unfair to women but you have at least 20 years to get it right. I would rather have plenty of options while younger too instead of waiting 20+ years when demographics finally start to favor men but even then men prefer younger women.

    2. It’s not mean if it’s true2 years ago

      Women are much, much, much more focused on getting married than men, at least in American where women don’t seem to have progressed at all since the 1950s. Face it, American women are gaga for marriage in a way that most women in the OECD are not.

      I think it’s instructive that it compares EMPLOYED single men to women who apparently don’t need to work to get married.

      1. beta=omega2 years ago

        Maybe women over 40 but before that women here know they have options and often refuse to date down financially. What’s wrong with a house husband? and that’s my point.
        Women want all the benefits of feminism: Equal pay, jobs, access.
        But will not accept men that are hurt by it, Less likely to have a job because a women won out thanks to affirmative action.
        Man often make less now but women refuse to date.
        A lot of my friends are single for years because there simply not enough women here to date.

        1. Raymond Kot2 months ago

          Cultural Marxism has won in the West. Eastern Europe is a good place to fish.

    3. Offended by your offense2 years ago

      I am offended by YOUR offense! You’re “incredibly offended” are you? THIS is what gets you “incredibly offended”?
      Women and little girls are being butchered in Syria and Iraq and you had to take the time to write that? If you’re going to be offended by a women’s rights issue, maybe you should think a little harder

  43. Packard Day2 years ago

    Thank you for mercifully sparing all of us from the geographic statistics on unmarried males by race. There was really no need to perpetuate anymore unhelpful stereotypes involving long-term unemployment, low education/literacy, past criminal behaviors, and other recreational drug addictions among certain cohorts. Besides, the men and women who read the Pew Research site are already well aware of these matters. Res ipsa loquitur.

  44. Minal Bopaiah2 years ago

    Are you sure all the single men you counted are straight? Because DC is known for being a great town to find gay men. Your data may be a little heterosexist in assuming all single, employed men are looking for a female partner.

    1. Wendy Wang2 years ago

      Good question Minal. In our study, LGBT adults are included but not analyzed separately because of the small sample sizes.The ratios displayed here aim to illustrate how single young men and women compare only in terms of key demographic characteristics. The actual marriage market is much more complex than these ratios, given that not all young adults are searching for a heterosexual partner, and some young adults may look for a partner outside their age range. For more information about LGBT adults, please see “Box 2: A Note About LGBT Adults” in our related report.