Over 87% of Americans are unprepared to protect themselves from even the most basic world-ending scenarios reports The Onion.

A majority of Americans (56%) reject the criticism that Obama is trying to tackle too many issues.

Just under half (48%) of the public says spending billions of dollars to help keep financial institutions secure is the right thing to do; 40% say it is wrong.

The public is evenly divided over spending billions to help homeowners who are facing foreclosure on mortgages they cannot afford but most supporters say they are bothered by it.

The public overwhelmingly supports (76%) President Obama’s plan to remove most combat troops from Iraq by the end of August.

The Obama administration’s plan to step up U.S. involvement in Afghanistan is unlikely to be welcomed in many of the world’s nations; even in the U.S., only a small majority supports a troop buildup.

A small majority says torture is rarely or never justified.

Almost half of Americans say they would rather live in a different type of community from the one they’re living in now.