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Why Many Parents and Teens Think It’s Harder Being a Teen Today

Why Many Parents and Teens Think It’s Harder Being a Teen Today

Is it harder these days to be a teen? Or do today’s teenagers have it easier than those of past generations?

We asked the following question of 1,453 U.S. parents and teens: Compared with 20 years ago, do you think being a teenager today is harder, easier or about the same?

Parents and teens most often say it’s harder to be a teen today. Though parents are far more likely to say this.

Far fewer say it’s easier now …

… or that it’s about the same.

Teens, though, are more likely than parents to say they are unsure.

But why? We asked those who say teen life has gotten harder or easier to explain in their own words why they think so.

Why parents say it’s harder being a teen today

A chart showing that Technology, especially social media, is the top reason parents think it’s harder being a teen today

There are big debates about how teenagers are faring these days. And technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.

Prominent figures, including the U.S. Surgeon General, have been vocal about the harmful effects technology may be having on young people.

These concerns ring true for the parents in our survey. A majority blame technology – and especially social media – for making teen life more difficult.

Among parents who say it’s harder being a teen today, about two-thirds cite technology in some way. This includes 41% who specifically name social media.

While some mention social media in broad terms, others bring up specific experiences that teens may have on these platforms, such as feeling pressure to act or look a certain way or having negative interactions there. Parents also call out the downsides of being constantly connected through social media.

How we did this

Pew Research Center has a long history of studying the attitudes and experiences of U.S. teens and parents, especially when it comes to their relationships with technology.

For this analysis, the Center conducted an online survey of 1,453 U.S. teens and parents from Sept. 26 to Oct. 23, 2023, through Ipsos. Ipsos invited one parent from each of a representative set of households with parents of teens in the desired age range from its KnowledgePanel. The KnowledgePanel is a probability-based web panel recruited primarily through national, random sampling of residential addresses. Parents were asked to think about one teen in their household. (If there were multiple teens ages 13 to 17 in the household, one was randomly chosen.) After completing their section, the parent was asked to have this chosen teen come to the computer and complete the survey in private.

The survey is weighted to be representative of two different populations: 1) parents with teens ages 13 to 17, and 2) teens ages 13 to 17 who live with parents. For each of these populations, they survey is weighted to be representative by age, gender, race and ethnicity, household income and other categories.

Parents and teens were first asked whether they think it is harder, easier, or about the same to be a teen now than it was 20 years ago. Those who answered that it was easier or harder were then asked an open-ended question to explain why they answered the way they did. Center researchers developed a coding scheme categorizing the written responses, coded all responses, then grouped them into the themes explored in this data essay. Quotations may have been lightly edited for grammar, spelling and clarity.

Here are the questions among parents and among teens used in this analysis, along with responses, and its methodology.

This research was reviewed and approved by an external institutional review board (IRB), Advarra, an independent committee of experts specializing in helping to protect the rights of research participants.

“Social media is a scourge for society, especially for teens. They can’t escape social pressures and are constantly bombarded by images and content that makes them feel insecure and less than perfect, which creates undue stress that they can’t escape.”
FATHER, 40s

“Kids are being told what to think and how to feel based on social media.”
MOTHER, 40s

Parents name other forms of technology, but at much lower rates. Roughly one-in-ten parents who think being a teen is harder today specifically say the internet (11%) or smartphones (7%) contribute to this.

“Teens are online and they are going to encounter everything offered – positive and negative. Unfortunately, the negative can do major damage, as in cyberbullying, for example.”
MOTHER, 30s

Another 26% say technology in general or some other specific type of technology (e.g., video games or television) makes teens’ lives harder today.

“Technology has changed the way people communicate. I can see how kids feel very isolated.”
FATHER, 40s

Parents also raise a range of reasons that do not specifically reference technology, with two that stand out: more pressures placed on teens and the country or world being worse off than in the past. Among parents who think it’s harder to be a teen today, 16% say it’s because of the pressures and expectations young people face. These include teens feeling like they have to look or act a certain way or perform at a certain level.

“The competition is more fierce in sports and academics and the bar seems to be higher. Everything is more over-the-top for social activities too. It’s not simple as it was.”
MOTHER, 50s

A similar share (15%) says teen life is harder because the country or world has changed in a bad way, whether due to political issues or to shifts in morals and values.

“Now it is more difficult to instill values, principles, good customs and good behavior, since many bad vices are seen in some schools and public places.”
MOTHER, 50s

Other reasons that do not mention technology are less common. For example, roughly one-in-ten of these parents or fewer mention violence and drugs, bullying, and exposure to bad influences.

Why parents say it’s easier being a teen today

A chart showing that Parents largely point to technology as a reason it’s easier being a teen today

Teens today have a seemingly endless choice of technologies at their disposal, whether it be smartphones, video games or generative AI. And while relatively few parents say teen’s lives are easier today, those who do largely point to technology.

Among parents who say it is easier being a teen today, roughly six-in-ten mention technology as a reason.

Some reference a specific type of technology, like the internet (14%). Another 8% cite smartphones, and 3% cite social media.

“Although the internet can be toxic, it also opens up so many avenues for connection, learning and engagement.”
MOTHER, 50s

“We didn’t have smartphones when I was a teenager. Nowadays, teenagers have all the answers in the palm of their hand.”
FATHER, 40s

A fair portion (47%) mention technology broadly or name another specific type of technology.

“Technology has improved exponentially, giving access to the whole world at your fingertips.”
FATHER, 30s

Some other reasons that emerge do not mention technology specifically. For instance, 18% of parents who say it’s easier being a teen today think this is because there are fewer pressures and expectations on teenagers than in the past.

“Teens today have been shown more leniency; they barely hold themselves responsible.”
MOTHER, 40s

And one-in-ten say it’s easier because teens have access to more resources and information.

 “When I was a teen, I had to carry so many books and binders everywhere while my daughter can just have her school laptop. She can complete research easily with internet access on her school device.”
MOTHER, 30s

Why teens say it’s harder being a teen today

A chart showing that Increased pressures and social media stand out as reasons teens say it’s harder to be a teen today

Most teens use social media, and some do so almost constantly. But they also see these sites as a reason teens’ lives are harder today than 20 years ago.

In addition, teens point to the pressures and expectations that are placed on them.

Among teens who say it’s harder to be a teenager today than in the past, roughly four-in-ten mention technology as a reason. This includes a quarter who specifically name social media. Some mention these sites broadly; others link them to harmful experiences like increased pressures to look a certain way or negative interactions with others.

“Social media tells kids what to do and say. And if you aren’t up on it, you look like the fool and become like an outcast from lots of people.”
TEEN GIRL

“Social media was not a part of my parents’ teenage lives and I feel that they did not have to ‘curate’ themselves and be a certain way in order to fit [in] as it is today.”
TEEN GIRL

Few specifically mention the internet (6%) or smartphones (3%) as reasons. About one-in-ten (11%) cite technology broadly or another type of technology.

“For one thing, my phone is a huge distraction. It takes up so much of my time just looking at stuff that doesn’t even mean anything to me.”
TEEN GIRL

Teens name several reasons that do not specifically mention technology – most prominently, the increased pressures and expectations placed on them. Roughly three-in-ten of those who say teen life is harder today (31%) say it’s because of these pressures and expectations.  

“We have so much more homework and pressure from other kids. We are always being looked at by everyone. We can’t escape.”
TEEN GIRL

“Adults expect too much from us. We need to get good grades, do extracurricular activities, have a social life, and work part time – all at the same time.”
TEEN BOY

Another 15% say it’s harder because the world is worse off today, due to such things as political issues, values being different or the country having declined in some way.

“Teenagers are less able to afford vehicles, rent, etc. and basic living necessities, and are therefore not able to move out for years after they graduate high school and even college.”
TEEN BOY

Other reasons that don’t mention technology – including violence and drugs, bullying, and mental health problems – are named by 8% of these teens or fewer.

Why teens say it’s easier being a teen today

A chart showing that Technology is the top reason why teens think it’s easier being a teen today

Teens also see ways that technology makes life better, whether that’s helping them pursue hobbies, express their creativity or build skills. Overall, few think teens’ lives are easier today than 20 years ago, but those who do largely say technology is a reason. 

Six-in-ten teens who say teen life is easier today reference technology in some way. This includes 14% who mention the internet and 12% who mention phones. Just 3% name social media.

“[Teens 20 years ago] didn’t have internet available anywhere and they also didn’t have smartphones to be able to use whenever needed.”
TEEN BOY

This also includes 46% who reference technology in general or some other specific type of technology.

“Tech has made it easier to connect with friends.”
TEEN BOY

These teens also name reasons that don’t specifically mention technology, including 14% who say life is easier because there are fewer pressures and expectations for people their age.

“Twenty years ago there was probably more pressure to become an adult sooner and get things like a job, a learner’s permit, etc.”
TEEN GIRL

And a same share says having more resources available to them has made life easier.

“Nowadays, we have help to deal with your physical and mental well-being, and we have specialists/therapists that we can talk to about our feelings and emotions.”
TEEN GIRL

Smaller shares say it’s due to the country and world being better off today (4%) or people being nicer to each other (3%).

How parents and teens compare

A chart showing that Teens, parents cite social media, pressures at different rates when it comes to why teen life is harder today

Parents and teens are mostly in agreement on what makes growing up today harder than in the past.

But the rate at which they cite certain factors like social media or facing pressures differ.

Among those who say being a teen today is harder, 65% of parents believe it’s because of technology in some way. This drops to 39% among teens.

This divide also stands out when it comes to social media specifically (41% vs. 25%).

Teens, on the other hand, are more likely than parents to describe issues related to overachieving or having to look a certain way. Among those who say teen life is harder today, 31% of teens cite pressures and expectations as a reason, compared with 16% of parents.

Still, there are areas in which parents and teens are in sync. For example, similar shares cite the country or world being worse today (15% each) and violence and drugs (8% each) as reasons life today for teens is harder.

And among those who say being a teen today is easier, roughly six-in-ten parents (59%) and teens (60%) mention technology in some way.

Why parents and teens think it’s harder or easier to be a teen today than 20 years ago

Read the quotes below showing how parents and teens think teenagers’ experiences today differ from before.

HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“Other kids and people have lower moral standards.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: internet/being online
“Twenty years ago, a teen could get away from peer bullying by simply going home. Now the bullying can continue online everywhere.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: the world/country has changed in a good way
“It’s easier for kids to be different (neurodivergent, LGBTQIA, fat).”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“More pressure is put on teenagers due to social media. Everyone is competing for likes because we put so much emphasis on being an influencer.”
MOTHER, 60s
HARDER: exposure to bad influences
“So much has changed these past years. There are so many drugs and bad influences out there.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“The social climate of gender, policing and racial ideologies being taught and indoctrinated in schools.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: kids acting differently
“Children and teenagers these days are weak, spoiled and lazy.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Social media makes teenagers easier to bully, more likely to compare and more difficult to manage.”
FATHER, 30s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“The left pushes their agendas on teens regarding racism and sexual orientation very aggressively, confusing a lot of unstable children.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“There wasn’t as much violence as nowadays and the streets were safer to walk on at night. There is also a lot of different dangerous drugs as well that we didn’t have before.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: technology in general/other technology
“Technology. Teens today have the world – the good and the bad – at their fingertips.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: internet/being online
“The internet, simple as that. Now kids are constantly always on the internet doing stupid stuff.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“Society puts a lot of pressure on their appearance.”
MOTHER, 20s
HARDER: technology in general/other technology
“They are very addicted to the electronics.”
MOTHER, 50s
EASIER: phones/smartphones
“They have cellphones that pretty much do everything for them so they don’t have to think on their own.”
FATHER, 40s
EASIER: more resources/information available to them
“They have more access to things that we didn’t.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“There are so many people telling them who to be and what to think and not letting them be themselves.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: exposure to bad influences
“Much more access to things that are not appropriate for teenagers.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: social media
“Poisonous social media!!!”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: bullying
“There is too much bullying [and] kids picking on kids.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: social media
“Social media makes it so that there is no way of getting a safe haven at home away from peers.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: internet/being online
“They also have to be more careful of who they share information [with] online.”
MOTHER, 50s
EASIER: fewer pressures and expectations
“There are not as many household expectations expected of teenagers today. They have more free time and fewer worries.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: internet/being online
“They can also do everything online. They don’t have to go to the bank or the store or even run out for food. Everything can be done without leaving [the house].”
MOTHER, 30s
EASIER: technology in general/other technology
“Teens have tech advantages we didn’t have.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Social media breeding more social pressures.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“Too much pressure to be like something or someone else. It’s hard to be yourself.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: phones/smartphones
“Nowadays, teenagers just want to be on their phones and be lazy.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“More drugs are out there.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: bullying
“I think that scrutiny and bullying are much higher.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: mental health concerns
“The amount of mental health in this world is out the roof. Not much support to the youth.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“Mass school shootings.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Social media puts more pressure to be perfect than it did when I was younger.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“There is a lot of pressure put on kids to do everything and be as busy as possible.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“Today, teenagers have to worry about being shot at – it’s too many people who are getting shot.”
FATHER, 30s
HARDER: social media
“Today, teens aren’t just comparing [themselves with] their friends, now they have all of social media to compare themselves with.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“Too much pressure coming from too many directions.”
FATHER, 50s
EASIER: phones/smartphones
“They have access to lots of things with their cellphone. We had to go places to do research for schoolwork or had to make up schoolwork after school instead of while at home.”
MOTHER, 30s
EASIER: phones/smartphones
“We didn’t have smartphones when I was a teenager. Nowadays, teenagers have all the answers in the palm of their hand.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: phones/smartphones
“Social media accounts and everyone’s access to smartphones or electronic devices allows for the information to be distributed to a large amount of recipients faster.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: kids acting differently
“Nowadays, teenagers just want to be on their phones and be lazy.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“So much has changed these past years. There are so many drugs and bad influences out there.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“Being a teenager today means a lot of academic stress and homework, as well as tons of extracurricular activities. It is very hard for teenagers to efficiently manage their time while getting enough sleep.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: technology in general/other technology
“The myriads of technology bombarding teens.”
MOTHER, 30s
EASIER: fewer pressures and expectations
“The education system has been dumbed down. Rather than have students achieve a high standard, they have lowered the standard so that more students can achieve them. I believe they call it equity. The same with sports – everyone is a winner.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Social media accounts and everyone’s access to smartphones or electronic devices allows for the information to be distributed to a large amount of recipients faster.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: phones/smartphones
“With smartphones, everything is accessible.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Social media has put more pressure on teens.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: social media
“Social media puts pressure on teens to look a certain way and negatively influences their self-image and self-esteem. The whole idea of needing to put a filter on your picture before posting and the need to have people like and comment in order to feel valued is wrong.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“More pressure to succeed.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: social media
“Social media has made it a nightmare and contributes to teens’ anxiety and depression.”
MOTHER, 50s
EASIER: technology in general/other technology
“The technology has advanced so much that they have more access to information.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: internet/being online
“Kids spend too much time online and are losing the ability to communicate face-to-face.”
FATHER, 60s
HARDER: social media
“Social media has made it hard for today’s youth. You’re never truly alone. Your peers are always watching.”
FATHER, 40s
EASIER: internet/being online
“They have instant access to anything on the web! All of the answers are right at their fingertips.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“More temptations in the form of drugs and smoking.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“I think that there is more peer pressure today on teenagers.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: social media
“Because of social media, it’s harder for kids to make friends. And kids are just meaner and they are expected to look a certain way or act a certain way just to fit in.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: internet/being online
“When I was growing up, the internet, as it is now, did not exist. Today, you cannot get away from it.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“It’s harder today because of all the woke, LBGQT alphabet people garbage that is being rammed down children’s throats in school and society.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“Kids can’t just be kids anymore and there is lots of crap that they shouldn’t have to deal with, like gender issues – that’s bulls—.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: social media
“Very simply, the difference is social media.”
FATHER, 40s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“Ungodliness is being pushed harder than ever before.”
FATHER, 40s
EASIER: mental health concerns
“I think mental health is taken more seriously, so parents are more in tune with their childrens’ emotions.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: technology in general/other technology
“I think the distraction of technology has been difficult on teenagers and there are less real opportunities for social engagement.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: the world/country has changed in a good way
“Because there is a LOT more acceptance of things and the way people are.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: social media
“Social media affects how teenagers view themselves and they determine their self-worth based on others’ experiences.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: the way of parenting today
“Parents seem better equipped to help their children to try to give them a better life than what they had.”
MOTHER, 50s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“Teenagers trying to fit in and be acceptable in their circles.”
MOTHER, 40s
EASIER: the world/country has changed in a good way
“Handouts are more readily available.”
FATHER, 40s
EASIER: fewer pressures and expectations
“Kids are spoon-fed nowadays.”
FATHER, 60s
HARDER: violence and drugs
“The neighborhoods are not as safe and the dangers have definitely increased from where they were 20 years ago.”
MOTHER, 40s
HARDER: the world/country has changed in a bad way
“There is more discrimination.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: phones/smartphones
“Life was simpler when teens didn’t have a phone in their pocket or hand for instant gratification of whatever they wanted, and most people were a lot happier.”
MOTHER, 30s
HARDER: social media
“I think the pressure social media puts on kids is hard. Info can get out very fast. Also, info is permanently out there.”
MOTHER, 50s
EASIER: technology in general/other technology
“Everything is at their fingertips now with all this technology.”
FATHER, 50s
HARDER: more pressures and expectations
“There is much more pressure to “fit in.””
FATHER, 40s

Find out more

This project benefited greatly from the contributions of Director of Internet and Technology Research Monica Anderson, Research Assistants Eugenie Park and Olivia Sidoti. This project also benefited from Communications Manager Haley Nolan, Editorial Assistant Anna Jackson and Copy Editor Rebecca Leppert.

Pew Research Center is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts, its primary funder.

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